Men Behaving Badly Series 1

Gary: Dermot, I can't work it out.  You're either very stupid or you're very, very stupid.

Gary: Graham, if he exists, is obviously trying to toady his way into your pants.
Dorothy: Oh, he certainly does exist.  And he doesn't beg me to come around to his house and then sit there parading his stupidity.
Gary: Oooo, that's probably because he hasn't got any to parade!

Dermot: Anyway, you can't go after Deborah.  She's my woman.
Gary: Your woman?  You only went out with her once, and she called you a sad little man.
Dermot: Yea.  Well, we're going to build on that.

Gary: Well, just say it's purely sexual and there'll be no complications.
Dermot: Yea, she might respond to that.  After all, we shouldn't be afraid of our needs.  I mean, it's an animal act.  She's an animal.  I'm an animal.
Gary:  Yea, except that she's a perfectly formed mammal, and you're a sleezy little rodent.

Dermot: I know a few places where we could put romance back into your life.
Les: <BURP!>

George:  I was excited once... back in the 1960s.  Found it rather worrying.